Retirement planning focuses almost exclusively on matters of money - how much we need to save, how much we can spend, when we can spend it, how much we need to put aside for travel, how much we should give to our children and so on.

Less planning goes into what our day-to-day lives will be like in retirement. Many of us have a mythical view of retirement as a perpetual holiday where we’ll have the freedom to do what we want, when we want to, and live out a carefree existence.

Sometimes it doesn’t turn out that way. Studies show men can struggle with the transition to retirement. Without the structure provided by full-time work, they can get lost. That’s because men have a habit of identifying with their jobs. If someone asks them what they do, they can proudly answer, “I am engineer” or I’m an accountant”. Without work, men can lose a part of their identities.

Another issue for men is they tend to have fewer friends heading into retirement. That can lead to issues such as isolation.

It’s not just men, though. Women also encounter problems in retirement.

It can be a big shift for women having their husbands at home full-time in retirement. Women are often better at building social networks and these networks remain active in retirement. If their husbands don’t have the same networks, and they lean more on their wives, that can cause friction in relationships. It’s maybe why some studies show that the happiest retirees are divorced women aged between 60 and 65.

To avoid these issues, how should people best prepare for life in retirement? Here are five tips, primarily drawn from the academic work of Professor Michael Finke, Professor of Wealth Management at the American College of Financial Services, and Laura Carstensen, Director at the Stanford School of Longevity:

1. Develop structures and habits

It can be an abrupt change to go from having structured days and weeks while working to having unstructured ones when retired.

Think about your weekdays when working. You might get up, go for a walk, have breakfast and coffee, then head to work, before coming home and spending time with family and having dinner and downtime.

In retirement, it can mean going from that to, well, nothing.

Having no structure can lead to perceptions of time going faster and feelings of drifting and not achieving anything.

To avoid this, it’s best to develop structures and habits, and to test-drive them before retiring. You can do this on days off work, on weekends, or while on annual leave.

Do you want to take up golf in retirement? Don’t leave it until you work your last day. Get into a routine of playing before you make the final decision to retire.

The same goes if you want to do charity work in retirement. Start doing the work before you quit your day job so you develop a routine that can easily transition into retirement.

2. Consider working in some capacity

I know this point will bring groans from some people. You may be a tradie and your body is battered from 40 years of hard labor, and you have no intention of working in retirement. Fair enough.

However, there are other people who enjoy their jobs. Maybe they want to work less in retirement though keep doing the tasks that they enjoy most in their current jobs.

Work can bring benefits such as a sense of purpose, a certain status and respect, and help with creating and maintaining social relationships.

3. Nurture your relationships

All major scientific studies say that relationships are the key to both happiness and longevity. They’re the number one factor, ahead of money, health, and other things.

There are several things to consider when thinking about relationships in retirement.

First, old friendships are important to life satisfaction. And if you can live near old friends, all the better.

Second, when you reach the 80s, you’re at higher risk of becoming socially isolated, especially if you live in your own home. One study from Texas Tech University found that people who lived in their own houses were happiest throughout their lives until their late 70s. Yet, once they hit their 80s, people who lived in apartments were happier than people who lived in houses because they were less at risk of becoming socially isolated.

Third, for friendships to last in retirement, you need to invest in them prior to retirement. That means reaching out to friends and meeting up with them on a regular basis. Friendships are a little like plants – without care and water, they don’t last. Or as anthropologist Robin Dunbar puts it:

“If you don’t meet up once in a while face-to-face, nothing on the face of earth or Facebook is going to stop that friendship gradually becoming an acquaintanceship.”

4. Maintain your health and fitness, and start early

Retirement health plans can be like New Year’s Eve plans: good intentions that go nowhere.

Say your goal is to pick up hiking in retirement. A noble goal. However, if you haven’t kept in shape, you may not be fit enough to achieve the goal. Therefore, it’s vital to start things such as hiking in your 50s or earlier so you can continue them or do more of them when you retire.

If you can do that, it can be worth it as health, like relationships, is a key factor to both happiness and longevity.

5. Pick an age at which we will transition from our home to a different type of living environment.

This is a suggestion from Professor Michael Finke and I’m not sure I agree with it. Finke reasons that cognitive and physical decline are inevitable as we age. We are different people at the latter stages of retirement compared to when we are in the early stages. We’re more vulnerable.

Consequently, he thinks it’s a good idea for us to pick an age when we’ll transition from home to a different type of living environment. It’s better than our kids forcing us into a facility that we may not want to go to. Instead, this way, we can choose where we want to go and when and can plan for the transition and the costs involved.

I have parents aged 86 and 79, who are becoming more vulnerable, both physically and mentally. In some ways, I wish they did move into a retirement village several years ago. Though I can understand why they haven’t.

There’s no easy answer to this one.

This article first appeared on Firstlinks, a Morningstar Australia publication.

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